An Angel's Tear
by neon2
Summary: The door exiting NERV slides open as it always does when Shinji leaves, but this time there is something different... | rei/kaoru/shinji
1. An Angel's Tear Chapter I

Hey, this is my first eva fanfic, and also my first fanfic on ff.net. I get kinda tired of asuka/shinji and shinji/kaoru pairs, so i wrote this fic to kind of avoid that, instead i am having a rei/kaoru/shinji triangle. This takes place right before kaoru's death in the series (and before anyone knows Kaoru is an angel), i cant remember the episode number, somewhere after 20 i think. Beware, i dont write in play format like many writers do on this page, i write in true novel-style format, so if you dont want to read, than this story may not be for you. Also, i labled this as a romance, although you wont find much in the first chapter.  
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Chapter 1  
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Shinji just finished his calibration test and logged out of the NERV headquarters. It all seemed so systematic now, every day after school, he walks to the NERV headquarters, goes through the standard Eva unit tests, and swipes his card on the way out. The door usually slides open, and he is met with a gust of cold wind and an empty waiting room outside of the NERV headquarters. But this time was different. He could tell the moment he swiped his card, he was not met with the usual cold room, something was different.  
  
"Hello, Shinji".  
  
Shinji knew it was Kaoru, he didn't have to look. Giving a quick smile and a nod, he kept walking.  
  
"Shinji, if you are going home, I'd love to talk with you."  
  
"Um, actually, I need to... drop something off at Rei's house," he lied, "so thanks anyway."  
  
"Well, do you mind if i accompany you?"  
  
Shinji hated being rude, so he unwillingly agreed. They both pushed open the last set of doors leading out of NERV. Shinji could not see the sun, but he knew it was bright because the glare on the buildings made him squint. It would be a dreadfully hot day if it was not for the cool breeze that occasionally swept through. Shinji noticed his thoughts wandering to Rei. This was nothing unusual, as he often thinks about her on the way home from NERV. Kaoru continued small talk, but he could tell that Shinji was detached from his conversations. So, Kaoru decided to break the silence.  
  
"We passed Rei's house a long time ago Shinji."  
  
"Oh, um... yea," Shinji searched for words, "Yes, I know, I decided I'd just talk to her tomarrow instead."  
  
"Hmm. You seem a bit distant Shinji. Is something wrong?"  
  
"Of course not, I'm just a bit tired."  
  
"Well, why don't I walk you back to your house than instead."  
  
"Sure."  
"-and a... thanks, Kaoru" added Shinji  
  
Kaoru nodded. He didn't mind walking a little extra with Shinji, he had already been waiting for him to leave the NERV headquarters for nearly an hour.  
  
***  
  
The streets were full of traffic, many of them held up because of broken cement or fallen lightpoles.  
  
"After all these battles with the angels, and all the destruction it causes, why do you think people still live in Tokyo-3?" asked Kaoru.  
  
Shinji has really never thought of that. After so many angel attacks, why would the people of Tyoko-3 still tolerate living in this city?  
  
"I..I don't know. Mabye its because they feel attached to whatever they do here."  
  
"Could be," replied Kaoru, "but I think the truth runs deeper than that."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Shinji, do you know what an angel is?"  
  
To Shinji, this seemed like a weird turn the their dialogue.  
  
"Ah... yes, of course. Angels are the enemy. They reek havoc on our cities and victimize the innocent."  
  
Shinji said this as if it were coming straight from the mouth of his father or Asuka.  
  
"And how do you know this, Shinji?"  
  
"Of course I know it!" thought Shinji. But inside, he knew he really did not. There was something about Kaoru, something that made it seem like he could be completely honest with him.  
  
"I guess I don't, really." Shinji said instead.  
  
"The dead sea scrolls. They are the newest part of the Bible. They have a whole book that is almost entirely dedicated to the nature of angels. Have you ever read the book of Revelations Shinji?"  
  
"Not really..." Shinji didn't even own a Bible.  
  
"Angels were created to be the servants of God. They kept heaven in order, and occasionally went to earth to do the same. Later, God created humans as well, specifically Adam and Lilith. Humans were not perfect, but then again, nor were angels. As time progressed, humans became less like Adam and more like demons. The line that separated angels and humans began to grow thicker. Are you listening Shinji?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"In the early years, it was not uncommon for angels to walk among humans, but as you can expect, the angels began to envy how the humans could be greedy and lust and be slothful. And, the humans became jealous about how the angels lived in perfect tranquility in heaven and were superior to the lilims. Just as you told me about how the angels are the 'enemy', angels blindly thought the same thing about humans. But not all of us are blind."  
  
"Us?" asked Shinji. What was Kaoru trying to say.  
  
They arrived at the building where Shinji lived, so they both stopped by the door.  
  
"What I am saying is, not all angels are blind Shinji. We all don't hate the humans. Some of us even love them."  
  
End of chapter 1  
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Well, there it is, the first chapter. This really didnt take too long to devise at all, so you will probably be seeing a second and third chapter from me shortly. I plan on having a pretty complete story, I am guessing i will end somewhere in the double digits as far as chapters go. You wont be able to pick back up in the series after my fic ends, i plan on ending it in my own way. I hope you enjoyed it :D  
-denny  
read my journal :E  
www.livejournal.com/users/celestialCircle/ 


	2. An Angel's Tear Chapter II

Welcome to chapter 2 of 'An Angels Tear'. Do not attempt to skip chapter 1 even if i am going to summarize it for you now. CHAPTER 1 SUMMARY: Shinji leaves nerv for the day, meets up with Kaoru, they talk about angels, Tokyo-3, and the like, Kaoru hints that he may not be human, and that he is *different* than other angels. This chapter really starts to get into the 'beef' of the story. I hope you enjoy it, reviews are always appreciated, i dont even mind a well thought out flame every now and then. Italicized fonts are often the charcters talking to themselves.  
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An Angel's Tear - Chapter II  
  
Shinji lies in his bed. He continues to replay his conversation with Kaoru.  
  
"What could Kaoru mean?" Shinji asked himself.  
  
_You know what it means, Shinji, Kaoru is an angel._  
  
"No he isn't! He stood right there and talked to me! And... and he said he loved me! Angels hate us! Angels _kill_ us."  
  
_Shinji, you don't even know what an angel is._  
  
"You're right. But I _do_ know that angels are the enemy. I will tell someone about him..."  
  
_Is that what Kaoru deserves for the trust he bestowed with you?_  
  
"He didn't trust me! Angels can't... **trust**! I know what he's doing... he.. he's just trying to get into my head..."  
  
_Shinji, don't lie to yourself. No one else is listening. You know he was sincere._  
  
Shinji is tired of it. He turns up his music to MAX. His mind is too exhausted to think. And, for now, he'll keep Kaoru's true identity a secret.... _for now_....  
  
  
***   
  
The rising sun shines through the broken window shades and tattoos a shattered image onto Rei's face. She lies there for several minutes, trying to believe that the sun will just go away if she pretends that she doesn't notice it. But, as every morning, the rays of the sunlight eventually creep between Rei's eyelids and cause her to toss and groan. She rises.  
  
_Goddamn the sun..._  
  
She turns and sits on her bed causing the top bed sheets to fall off. There is a pear-shaped red stain on the bed. She's bleeding again, her shoulder this time. The bandages never seem to hold.  
  
Rei slaps her feet onto the cold, bare floor. It is routine, the sun wakes her, she finds blood under her covers, and then she drags herself to the shower. She flips on the shower lights... all too bright. They used to make her squint, but she is used to them now, she just keeps her eyes closed in the shower until she can turn them off again. Rei anticipates what comes next, she turns on the water and soon the dialogue begins...  
  
_Rei...._  
  
"Go away!" She yells at herself inside her head.  
  
_...I'm still here Rei..._  
  
"..."  
  
_**Rei...**_  
  
She clenches her eyes shut.  
  
"What!? Why do you call me that? Why... Why do I have a name? How am I different than this shower?"  
  
"Don't answer, I already know. **I'm no different than any machine.** Yet, I don't go around naming all of them! I'm no different... I'm nothing... leave me alone..."  
  
Rei gasps for air. Her eyes swell, yet she is not sure if she is crying, it may just be the thin, cold water from the shower spraying onto her face. Yet she may as well be crying, for the sadness inside her overflows like full sponge being twisted.  
  
"What a... _pathetic_ machine I am."  
  
Her eyes still closed, she opens the shower door. She steps out of the shower into a puddle that always forms after she's done. She flips off the lights again and systematically opens her eyes.  
  
_Rei..._  
  
_Rei, you do know why you feel all this pain._  
  
Rei doesn't want to hear it. She pulls on her clothes and runs her nails through her wet hair.  
  
_Rei, you are in denial. You feel undefined._  
  
"That's because I am-"  
  
_**NO** Rei. It is because you are incompetent. You choose not to define yourself, so you long for someone else to do it for you._  
  
"Don't say it..." says Rei as she opens the door to leave.  
  
_You know who I speak of Rei._  
  
Expecting the sunlight again as she opens the door, she closes her eyes. But, as if in an answer to her thoughts, she doesn't see the light-orange color of the sunlight shining through her eyelids, she doesn't feel the stinging rays of the sun against her fair, pale skin.  
  
"Rei?"  
  
She opens her eyes, startled.  
  
"Rei, are you okay?"  
  
It's Kaoru.  
  
"Yes... Yes, I am very... uh.. okay."  
  
Kaoru smirks.  
  
"Well, that's good to know I guess. I just thought that I'd stop by because yesterday Shinji was looking to give you something, I just wanted to check to make sure you got it."  
  
Rei looks at his face. The way his hair is carried by his eyelashes when he blinks, the way his skin is dark... but not too dark, just tinted enough to bring out his pearl white smile.  
  
"Rei?"  
Rei twitches like she was just awoken from a dream.  
  
"Ah, yes? Oh, Shinji, no, I haven't talked to him. I'm sure I'll see him at school though..."  
  
"Well good, Shinji acted like it was quite important..."  
  
Rei opens her mouth to say something but looses her chance.  
  
"Anyway, I better be off."  
  
As he turns, his long, shaggy hair seems to hang in place for a moment. Then, as he begins to walk away, it falls back onto his forehead and he walks away...  
  
"Ah. Kaoru?"  
  
Kaoru stops in his tracks.  
  
"Yes Rei?"  
  
Theres that name again. Even from Kaoru, she hates it.  
  
"Why.. why do you call me by name?" asks Rei.  
  
"Well it is your name, isn't it? It is truly a beautiful name."  
  
"Oh.. well thank you. See you, um, around I guess."  
  
Kaoru nods.  
  
"He likes my name." thinks Rei, "That's enough reason for me to like it."  
  
_See Rei, he defines you._  
  
***  
  
Shinji waits outside his school.  
  
"Where's Rei?" he wonders.  
  
The bell for the first class rings. She's late... but she's never late!  
  
Shinji waits a moment then runs to class. He sits at his desk... or, slouches, rather. The teacher's monotone voice makes Shinji's eyelids heavy. His thoughts rotate in a circle: Karou... Angels... The Third Impact... _Rei_...  
  
The door to the classroom opens. Rei walks in slowly. She looks aloof, dazed.  
  
Shinji looks at her pale face. Her neck is long and slim, her arms look limp, she drags her feet. She looks weak, fragile like a white-crystal doll. Shinji frowns looking at her.  
  
_I can't bear to see her like this, so.... vulnerable. She has to know. I... I have to tell her; ...everything... about Kaoru... about ** me**_.  
  
He stares at Rei, staring at her eyes, hoping to make contact. But, she walks past.  
  
Shinji sighs.  
  
END OF CHAPTER II  
  
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I hope you enjoyed it.... Chapter III is coming soon. Reviews are always appreciated.  
  



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